Abundant Mama: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Yell At Your Children

 

What is most important right now?

This question is by far my go-to question for just about everything but in a challenging moment with kids it almost always grounds me and centers me to make a more rational decision. Ask yourself what your family needs most right now.

Is this really a big deal?

Ouch. This question hurts, right? Because when we stop to really think about some of the infractions that happen in the grande scheme of life … they really are pretty small and inconsequential. This question helps put it all into perspective. Usually, the act itself is not at all the big deal but the fear we hold about it is definitely a big deal — and also totally fabricated in our minds. Ask yourself if this will matter in a week or a month.

 

 

Can they work this out on their own?

So often the conflicts in a home are around the dynamics between two or more children who are mid-squabble. At our house there are about 3.5 arguments a day. Asking this question before jumping to conclusions has helped leave the mom referee hat off for a while. Even if it’s not a sibling fight, a child is often more capable of working out their own conflicts on their own, with love and patience rather than being forced. Ask yourself how your role would benefit the situation, if at all.

What do I want my child to do differently?

As soon as I started stressing the positive actions I wanted my daughter to demonstrate, she responded with more interest than she had to any punishment. Turns out, she just needed to know what was the right thing to do. It can be confusing to be a child with so many rules and expectations. Sometimes we just have to say what we need to happen differently and wait for them to do it. Ask yourself what actions do I want my child to take to avoid this in the future.

How can I make this situation right?

I write so much about choosing kindness because I have witnessed so much unkind parenting in my life. And this question really takes you to the heart of the matter. When we put ourselves in our child’s position — no matter their age — we step into life as they see it. That’s when we begin the problem-solving role of healer and nurturer rather than the commander-in-chief. Ask yourself what can I do to bring a peaceful resolution to this problema.

Fonte: http://www.abundantmama.com/5-questions-ask-yell-at-your-children/